One day at a time...
Once we arrived, the first thing we did was collect the keys to our new home. We checked out the apartment and were happy to find that we had our very own fireplace. When we got here in the first week of Feb 2020, it was still winter, so we were going to need it. We stayed at a hotel for the first few days as we didn’t have furniture, and our shipment would only arrive sometime in March. We found a company that rents out practically everything you need, so we furnished the house with basic everyday items whilst we waited for our own things to arrive.
My husband was at home with me for the first week as we settled in and got acquainted with the place. But the week was soon over and he started with work.
After 6 weeks, I had settled into somewhat of a routine. Well to be honest, I basically do whatever I want when I want because that’s how calming my life has become. After a busy working career and being caught up in the rat race of persevering to climb the corporate ladder, buying property and living to achieve, this change is rather refreshing.
I took the first 2 weeks to settle in and welcome the new experience. But I struggled thereafter, I really didn’t know what to do with myself. I would exercise, clean the house, cook, read a book, or watch a movie, but it just wasn’t enough. My mind was to calm, it wanted a problem to solve, it was looking for stress. I tried to ignore the problem, but it wasn’t going away, and a strange sense of helplessness started to take over, maybe of fear or doubt.
I struggled to sleep at night, and this started becoming a norm instead of something that would just pass. An empty feeling that I really can’t explain was growing inside me, the emptiness was growing. I started to question if this was the right choice? So many changes happened at once, I am thousands of miles away from friends and family who I miss terribly, I left my job behind and my career on hold. I had exited the rat race.
In fact, everything in my life changed and only one remained constant, my husband. I love him and I choose to support and stand by him. No, this is not something cliché from a love story, but the reality of the situation is that we made this decision together, to improve both of our lives. So that we could both grow professionally, financially, and emotionally. We want to create a better future for our family. So, self-doubt is not something I will accept, and depression is not welcome on my doorstep. I am brave enough to admit the emotions that I have been going through, and I know that’s it's ok to not be ok, but I also know that I am stronger than that.
I will persevere on and take each day as it comes. In the meantime, I have found something new to help develop and grow myself, I have registered for a twelve-month certification in my professional field. What better way to keep busy then to learn something new, especially when it is something that I enjoy and look forward to.
Going through all of these emotions is what sparked my enthusiasm to write this blog and Catching Up with Tish was born. Sharing my experience feels like I'm having a heart to heart conversation with a good old friend over a great cup of tea. You see emotions can creep up on you at any time, but talking about it makes you feel better and sometimes all you have to do is cry, let it all out and you will automatically feel lighter. But most importantly you have to pick yourself up and face another day with the attitude of a soldier, you must be determined to win because your life depends on it.
Catch up soon, another day with another story…